I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
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