Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
Randomize
