I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
Randomize
