office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
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