fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
Randomize
