I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
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