That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
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