A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
