just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
Randomize
