So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
I deserve to be covered in dicks
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize