Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
Randomize
