Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
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