Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
