Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
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