I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
