Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
I love you. Go after that dick
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
Randomize
