i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
my vag is so smooth its legendary
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
Randomize
