Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
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The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
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Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
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