Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize
