Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
Randomize
