This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Randomize