She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
Randomize
