just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
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