The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
The following message is brought to you by IMSOFUCKINGSORRY. Dude I'm really sorry I got you arrested last night. You are allowed to choose a repayment plan from the following options: Money, weed, or a single kick to the balls any time within the next calender months. Repayment outside of the aforementioned options can be negotiated and considered within reason.
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize
