Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
Randomize
