you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
I need to wash the frat house off of me
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
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