I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
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