Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
im having a threesome with these popsicles
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
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