she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
Randomize
