the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
Randomize
