If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
Someone signed my nipple.
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
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