They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
PANTIES FOUND
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
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