You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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