so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
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