Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
where are my eyebrows?
Randomize
