That's intense
I accidentally asked my mom for a blowjob because 'mom' and 'molly' are next to each other in my address book.
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
Randomize
