yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
nutella sex= disaster
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
