I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
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