dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
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