How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
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