Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
Randomize
