U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
Come back. Shots need mouths.
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
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