Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
Randomize
