and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
Floor bacon is actually really good
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
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