If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
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