I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
Randomize
