There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
Randomize
