So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
I take back everything I said about communal showers
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
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