We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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