Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
Randomize
