I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
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