We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
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