youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
I just got carded by a ten year old.
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
just found out that she named her cat after me.
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
I need to wash the frat house off of me
Randomize
